Three Cups of Tea

Once again, today started off horribly. I got out of bed only to be hit by a migraine. So I went back to bed. Eventually I had to get out of bed only to discover that Zane got out of bed on the wrong side. He spent most of the morning wailing about everything. I tried explaining to the kids that mommy has a migraine and loud sounds really bother mommy's head. They didn't get the concept. I lost my patience and yelled. And cried. Then apologized. We made it to school before O Canada and I didn't yell on the way to school. I made it safely to the town where my husband work through blowing snow. I had a lovely time out with my pastor's wife. (D., you are the best!!) I tried fried pickles. Different and yummy. D. hadn't seen where Steve works, so we went to visit him. I stole two kisses from my wonderful husband, and had a great talk with Steve's boss. Then I drove safely back through the blowing snow and picked up Aris and a little boy I walk home from school. He's not exactly little, as he is 8. But he was being bullied and was finding the responsibility of walking his younger sister home from school stressful. He's a delightful little boy so it isn't a big deal. Today he came over for a playdate. Zane and P. had a great time playing Lego Indiana Jones. I loved hearing them laugh together. All this was good, but the best part of my day came this evening.

Greg Mortenson came to speak in my city today. He's a mountain climber who got lost and ended up starting schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan. I read his first book recently and was incredibly moved. If you haven't read it, please do. It isn't a waste of time. Tonight's event was amazing. He isn't a great speaker. He stumbled his speech a couple of times. However what he had to say was straight from the heart. What this man has accomplished is absolutely amazing. He came not to beg for money or even to promote his organization, but to encourage us all to find something that we are passionate about and change our world. Out of his mission has come Pennies for Peace which encourages kids to do what they can to change the world.

The first chapter of Three Cups of Tea is entitled failure. It is out of failure that Greg came into his passion. Because he got lost, he learned about the desperate need of Pakistani children for education. He quoted a Persian proverb: When it is dark, then you can see the stars. I want to make a difference in the world. Right now, I feel like a failure. One of the biggest things I was passionate about is currently a closed door. One of the relationships I put the most effort into is over and ended badly. I'm worried that anything I try will similarly end in failure, that maybe that's all I'm destined for.

Prior to getting lost, that's where Greg was too. He was lost, adrift and felt like a failure. It took him many years and miles to realize his passion and his potential. Tonight has encouraged me to keep looking for mine. I have a lot of ideas. I'm passionate about community, serving the poor, widows, orphans and refugees, building relationships, inclusion, birth, breastfeeding, reading, cooking, local food and youth. Where I'm going to go with this I don't know. I don't want to be crazily busy and be away from my family 6 months of the year. But I do want to make a difference. I'm tempted to post some of my thoughts here, but instead I think I need to sleep on them and talk to Steve. For now my thought is: Failure is not the end, rather failure is the opportunity for a brand new beginning.

Speaking of beginnings, I leave tomorrow for the city. My doula course starts tomorrow night and runs until Sunday. Steve may bring his laptop and I may decide to blog from it. Then again, I might not. If you don't hear from me sooner, I hope you have a safe and happy weekend. :)