And then, while skating one night, I fall. It's a silly fall, one that shouldn't have happened. I fell, gently, landing on my bum, ending sprawled full-out, smacking my arm as I fell. It wasn't a hard fall, but I hurt. The pain ebbs a bit, only to return, reaching full-strength after I have driven home. The next day we learn that my arm is broken, in a place it should not have broken. And in this inner healing begins.
For now this driven girl has to rest. I cannot care for myself, can't brush or wash my long hair, can't even pull it back. After almost a week of healing, I can almost dress myself fully, but I probably shouldn't. Driving is out of the question, as is cooking and carrying my toddler. I'm mostly housebound and not supposed to do anything. (I shouldn't be typing but...)
And in this place, my heart has started to soften. Friends have come around me in prayer, love and tangible acts of love. One of my dear friends comes over every single day to brush and braid my hair for me. If it wasn't for her, I'd have to cut it off. My husband is nothing short of amazing, especially in how he cares for me and has taken over most of my chores. The church that we stopped attending is supplying meals for us, as is the church we're currently attending. Friends are helping with laundry, childcare and diapers. I am humbled...and softened.
My heart is still bruised and often angry, but here healing is beginning. I have hope, just slivers sometimes, but hope none the less that full healing will come to this broken girl. Now to rest my body, arm and spirit and learn to trust this great big God. If broken bones can be used for God's glory, perhaps He can do something special with this broken heart too.
Joining again with dear Em and the rest at
Sending you much love and wishing I could come make you tea :)
ReplyDeleteHope your healing is complete soon and you can rest in the love of the One who made you and those through whom He shares His love with you.
ReplyDeleteJanis
i am glad that your heart is softening...and sometimes it takes something like that to get it there...hope that your journey continues...
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness...first of all, I'm so sorry about your arm, but what a great and interesting thing...the way an outside pain can heal an inside hurt. Not that I'm hoping to break a bone, but that softening of the heart? I could use some of that!!
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading the beginning of your post, it felt familiar. It reminded me of when God put me in a place of rest to realize it wasn't about what I can do to achieve His love (or anyone else's). Rather, it's the love He pours out on me despite me. Praying you continue to heal.
ReplyDeleteit's amazing how God knows what we need. He will always provide it, especially in ways we would never have expected. Blessings to you on your recovery, and praying for a continued renewal and softening for you. He is good, and you are loved.
ReplyDeletePraying you continue to heal quickly. I know the love of which you speak - the meals, the cards, the help, the prayers. God is amazing in how He works through His people. And to soften your heart in the process is another sign of His gentle love.
ReplyDeleteoh girl. needing others is hard, but beautifying, isn't it? i love that one of your friends comes to brush and braid your hair. that is true love. relating to you in your brokenness, dear grace. loving you.
ReplyDeleteI few years ago, I fell and broke my foot. It was such a hard thing for me--staying off that foot for the required time and letting others help. I learned a lot about myself through that experience. I learned that I was prideful, even though I never considered myself so before. God used that time to soften me too. And teach me to accept. I'm excited to see what other gifts you are given through this experience. Get well soon!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part of this post is your friend, coming by every day to brush and braid your hair. Such tender loving care. Such a simple act, but so deep and loving. This is a beautiful, open, raw piece -- thank you for sharing it here.
ReplyDeleteJust reading this filled me with some hope - which was much needed today. And what a treasure of a friend - coming to do your hair.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the prayers for me - it has been a rough day here in many ways. (BTW my name is Amanda - I don't have a blog name like I do for my kiddos).